Monday, July 14, 2008

In the Interest of Full Disclosure...

I just saw an interesting challenge on another blog I read from time to time. Basically, the long and short of it is this: Bare your privates, so to speak. Tell the truth. Expose your realities. So, here they are:

1. I am such an excellent housekeeper that my infant daughter is not permitted to go into the kitchen or bathrooms (unless she's in the tub) for fear she will consume something inedible from the floor and have to be rushed to the emergency room.

2. I read more books designed for teens (YA lit) than I do books for grown-ups (not to be mistaken with "adult" books).

3. While I am a stickler about making sure it gets done in the mornings, I very rarely brush my teeth before going to bed.

4. I have let a friend wash my dishes for no other reason than that I was just too lazy to do it.

5. I lied to four babysitters about why I was firing them because I was too chicken to tell them the truth. I told every single one of them that I got a new, work-from-home job (technically true, but it didn't start for a few weeks after letting them go) or found a friend who needed some extra money instead of telling them: they were keeping so many kids it was illegal, I could tell they weren't feeding/changing my kid properly, I was sick of them lying to me ... Good help is hard to find. Apparently, so is bravado and/or honesty.

6. Shortly after I became a Christian, I decided to get rid of my "really bad" secular music (Korn, Limp Bizkit, Orgy, Eminem). Did I dispose of them by throwing them in the garbage or setting them on fire to make sure no one else was ever subjected to such angry and filthy lyrics? Of course not. I took them to the local record exchange and sold them. As if profiting from sinfulness wasn't bad enough, a few months later, I bought new copies of half of those albums.

7. I've told my husband I was staying up late to catch up on work, and then ended up watching lonelygirl15 until two in the morning.

8. I haven't printed any pictures of my daughter since Christmas, partly because I never seem to have the money to do so, and partly because I'm just plain lazy.

9. My first ever C in a class was in keyboarding. To this day, I can't really type without looking at my hands.

10. My wedding dress has never been cleaned and is still hanging out in the ripped garment bag I stuffed it into in November of 2005. I keep saying that I'll get to it eventually, but let's be honest: I won't. This is the same reason my winter coat is still hanging by the door and hasn't been dry cleaned in two years.

Okay, I feel better now. Of course, none of you will ever come to my house again because you'll be afraid of catching botulism, but now at least you know what you're getting into.

And knowing is half the battle.


Kristi said...

Can I just say that I love you and think you're amazing? Because I do, and you are.

Dallimomma said...

Can I just say...that in the first paragraph, where it says "expose your realities", I mistakenly read it as "expose your relatives" and thought, Hey, wait a minute, that's me. Which is why I kept reading!!! I'm ridiculous.