Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Decreasing World Suck Levels ... In My Pants

A wise (and if not wise, then at least well-read and highly entertaining) man once pointed out that pretty much any book title can be improved by adding the phrase (in my pants) to the end of it. Being giant nerds, Brendan and I spent a large portion of yesterday evening scouring our home library in search of the best (in my pants) titles. Here are some of the awesome ones we came up with:

What to Expect the First Year (in my pants) by Heidi Murkoff
Love and Respect (in my pants) by Emerson Eggerichs
Intimacy Ignited (in my pants) by the couples Dillow and Pintus
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (in my pants) by Roald Dahl (primarily funny for the 12-year-old age bracket, but we still laughed for quite a while)
Extras (in my pants) by Scott Westerfeld
Peeps (in my pants)by Scott Westerfeld (Brendan didn't think the Westerfeld ones were as funny as I did ... maybe they're just funnier in my head)
Guess How Much I Love You (in my pants) by Sam McBratney
The Life You've Always Wanted (in my pants) by John Ortberg
And the World Came His Way (in my pants): A Biography of Jesse Helms (Also very dirty. As a sidenote, we apologize for owning this book - we all got a free copy in chapel at LU one time.)
An Arrow Pointing to Heaven (in my pants) by James Bryan Smith (I think some of the best ones are our Christian books, which is sad and awful, but also hilariously true.)

I'm sure we're going to hell for this, but neither of us could stop laughing at 7 Minutes with Jesus (in my pants) by Th1nk books

I think we were both in cahoots that these are the top five (in my pants) titles of all time though (or at least until someone comes along and shows us something better):

5. Welcome to the Monkey House (in my pants) by Kurt Vonnegut
4. The Lovely Bones (in my pants) by Alice Sebold (yes, we know, that's dirty and we're going to heck)
3. Victory Over the Darkness (in my pants) by Neil Anderson
2. Good Faeries (in my pants)/Bad Faeries (in my pants) by Brian Froud

and the best (in my pants) title of all time is ...

1. I Like You (in my pants) by Sandol Stoddard and Jacqueline Chwast

I seem to recall there being more (and possibly even better) ones, but I have forgotten them between then and now. I'll take another look tonight and maybe post a couple in each entry for the next few weeks.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Things I've Learned Since I Last Posted

1. I do not like Meatball & Mozzarella Lean Pockets.
2. Just when you think the world has offered up its entire repertoire of uneducated, overzealous jerks, it proves you wrong.
3. I am so terribly and irrationally afraid of zombies that even humorous tales and pictures of them can freak me out for days.
4. Bright Eyes and Sufjan Stevens make pretty awesome music.
5. Giving up tv for Lent sucks.
6. Sudoku is addicting.
7. I like making lists more than actually completing the things on the lists.
8. Now that I'm on a diet, my coffee order is longer and more complicated than the Gettysburg address ... in Dutch.
9. Andy Stanley is a smart cookie, and I like what he's talking about.
10. I suck at updating this thing. (I promise to decrease those suck levels.)