Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Super Powers

Last week, I finished reading a pretty good book by MJ. In said book, Clio (the heroine, not to be mistaken with this drug) attests that everyone has at least one random, seemingly useless superpower. For instance, said character has a knack for finding things and people. Like, say she was looking for a number two pencil in her SAT testing room. She would somehow be able to discern which person in the room had a spare they could lend her.

So, you wanna know what my bizarro super power is? Well, if you don't, you should stop reading right about now. Seriously. Stop reading unless you really want to find out what my trivial superpower is. Here - I'll even provide you with a distracting link to a shiny, happy website that will make you forget you ever read this blog (this may not be the best idea I've ever had, considering my current lack of readers, but it's too late now). Are you gone, non-nosy, disinterested people? Okay, (sad, small number of) devoted readers. The coast is clear. I can now tell you, without any reservations, that my bizarre and impractical superpower is ...

finding four leaf clovers.

No joke. I've found at least a dozen since I left for college about six years ago. Now, 12-ish in the course of nearly six years sounds kind of small and lame, right? But let's consider these facts:

1. Around 12 in six years puts us at about one every six months. Take into consideration that the grass/clover is dead and covered in ice, snow, or frost for about three months of the year and that makes one every 4.5 months, or roughly every 18 weeks. (12 months - 3 = 9 9/2=4.5 On average, there are four weeks in a month, so 4x4.5=18 weeks. There's some fancy math for ya, eh? Those who know me well are "ooh"ing and "aah"ing in their office chairs right now because those were some shockingly complex equations for me that turned out correctly - I think. This is sad, but probably true.)
2. A lot of people have NEVER found one. Ever.
3. This is the real kicker ... I don't really look for them that hard. Seriously. I basically glance at beds of clover while I'm walking and go, "Oh! A four-leaf!" and pick it up. End of story. If I do go out searching for one, I will usually find it within the hour. For instance, just this morning, I walked around the block with Scout, and every so often, I would glance into a patch of clover by the sidewalk. No stopping, just glancing while walking. As I walked up the path to come back into our building, I definitely spotted one out of the corner of my eye, right by our mail box. So make that about 13 in the last six years (please don't ask me to do that math. The-opposite-of-whole numbers don't play nicely with me).

So, thanks for giving me that freakish ability, God. Only You know if/when it'll ever come in handy in a practical situation, but it makes for an interesting quirk, regardless.

What about you (six*) faithful readers? Do some soul searching. Do you have a freakish super power that serves no real purpose except to break the ice at lame-o parties? I'd love to hear that I'm not alone. Maybe we could start a school like Professor Xavier and the X-Men, but instead of being for awesome mutants who could either save or destroy the world with the (un)timely use of their mutant abilities, it could be for slightly-less-awesome non-mutant people who could either save or destroy social situations with the (un)timely use of their quirks. Let me know what you think.

*I sometimes think I am overly-generous with my estimate of six whole readers. Most days, I feel like it's probably two. Or none.


katdish said...

My freakish super power is also a seeking power. I can find just about anything. I used to be on the creative arts "brainstorming" team at my church and we would always try to find new ways to engage the congregation in the service. One Easter this included 450 small, purple, drawstring bags, 450 nails resembling the ones used to nail Jesus to the cross and 450 smooth, round stones. And, oh yeah. This was 3 days before Easter Sunday.

Jess said...

I admit that I am not as devoted a reader as I perhaps should be/would like to be, but I always love to check out your blog when I can! I'm not sure a) if I was counted in your six, and b) what exactly your criteria is for devoted readership. But I digress.

Aside from the possibility of devoted readership status, the reason I comment is to say, "Wow!" Because guess why...I also have a knack for finding four leafed clovers! Who knew! I don't have any mathematical equations to back this up, but maybe God has gifted us both with this odd "power" so that we can band together to fight evil powers. I can see it now...green super hero costumes with clovers...uh huh. =)